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given surrender by ~xohere-thereox:iconxohere-thereox:

Categories Literature > Poetry > General Poetry > Open


When I gave you my heart
I thought it meant forever
That everything would get better
But some time down the line
I turned and ran away

You called me to you
Everybody said it wouldn't stay this way
But I should've seen past that smile
I was only your toy

But babe
You should've told me
That when you said forever
You were only telling your pretty little lies

After I gave it my all
Tried not to let this fail
All I did was fall
And I keep waiting for your sacrifice
©2009 ~xohere-thereox
:iconxohere-thereox:

Author's Comments

19. Sacrifice

hazely needed inspiration
and i finished another theme
win win, huh? xDD

don't steal!

Comments


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:iconxilamne:
~xilamne Jun 25, 2009, 9:01:29 PM
kind of generic.. I don't feel it at all. I think it could be fleshed out a lot more.

--
Eagles May Soar, But Weasles Don't Get Sucked Into Jet Engines
:iconhazely:
~Hazely Jun 25, 2009, 9:12:43 PM
wow... way to be rude.. she didnt ask for critique and its an effing amazing poem. get over your jealousy >.>

--
and if this is ever meant to end,
I HOPE IT ENDS WHERE IT BEGAN. <3
:iconxilamne:
~xilamne Jun 25, 2009, 11:28:46 PM
I'm not being rude. It's my opinion. If they don't like it, they will disregard it. If you enjoy the peice, we obviously have a difference of opinion - that's okay.

--
Eagles May Soar, But Weasles Don't Get Sucked Into Jet Engines
:iconhazely:
~Hazely Jun 26, 2009, 12:13:02 AM
>.> wow.. its still not okay for you to come up and tell someone you dont like their art. seriously..

--
and if this is ever meant to end,
I HOPE IT ENDS WHERE IT BEGAN. <3
:iconxilamne:
~xilamne Jun 26, 2009, 1:39:36 AM
sure it is. Most people just don't want to hear anything negative, but it's part of how we grow. At any rate, I'm done discussing. It is what it is.

--
Eagles May Soar, But Weasles Don't Get Sucked Into Jet Engines
:iconhistoryrepeated:
=HistoryRepeated Jun 26, 2009, 2:01:12 PM
Shimmer is a girl. And you could've at least offered something more constructive than 'flesh it out a little more'.

While giving your opinion is alright, taking into account that someone is significantly younger than you and that feelings are easily hurt is important as well. Not everyone's used to your way of saying things.
:iconhistoryrepeated:
=HistoryRepeated Jun 26, 2009, 2:02:10 PM
Shim, I like this :3 I love the end, seriously. It's awesome <3
:iconxilamne:
~xilamne Jun 26, 2009, 3:13:24 PM
I could have, and if asked to do so, I would have. What I said was not meant to offend or discourage. I'm seriously done defending myself on this position. Any more queries as to whether I was correct in my actions will simply be ignored.

--
Eagles May Soar, But Weasles Don't Get Sucked Into Jet Engines
:iconxohere-thereox:
~xohere-thereox Jun 29, 2009, 10:45:45 AM
thanks

--
hopeless, i'm falling down
filthy, i can't wake up, i cannot hold on
i will not let go
worthless, it's over now
guilty, there's no way out, i cannot hold on
i will not let go

hopeless_BREAKiNG benjamin
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